Sergia's Window

When I say, I will be on sick leave because I "have fever", I actually meant "I can't get my mind to stop thinking of tiredness, of leaving and of death today"

One task at a time. Awhile ago, it was doing the laundry. Now, as in right now, it's sorting clothes. Just think sorting clothes and you'll be fine. I love you, self. You can finish this 😘

I first struggled with depression in 2019. Back then, I was hesitant to accept my diagnosis because as I told my psychiatrist "if I get diagnosed, my children will have it now forever as part of their Family History" Months after that discussion, I was reminded of my Lola Sergia's story -- of how her first husband cheated on her, and how she got sick. They say she would just stare out the window the entire day, which left my mom to take care of her siblings -- doing the laundry and the cooking, preparing their snacks for school. Then it hit me -- wasn't that depression already? She couldn't muster energy to take care of her kids. So I had it in my family history all along :( I wanted someplace to write my thoughts as I struggle with depression. There will be good days when I don't write, there will be back stories where I post old notes. It's my pensieve, my thought dump, my prayers. God help me in this journey. My view as I lie on the couch this morning, ...