Dear 25 year old me

You are a mom now. To a very beautiful little boy. He is God's gift to you - sacred, wonderful, your Prince of Peace and your Superman, all rolled into one.

You were nervous and naive as a new mom. Funny how you were not even able to realize you were having contractions already. But, here you are, a young, loving mom to your bundle of joy.

Your son's arrival was not easy. The foundation of your relationship with his dad has not been made strong yet -- but it will, love, God will make it perfect in His time. You had your son prematurely, which gave him reasons to stay in the NICU. You had post-partum depression. It wasn't too grave, we mostly attributed it to having to travel to the NICU twice a day for just a glimpse of your son. But we were not eating, we were not feeling. We were just waiting for the next day to go through all of it again. You surpassed that. With the help of the series House, M.D. and a feeling of connection to Francis M, who was also battling illness at that time.

Remember when you prayed for a guy who will never leave your side, who is affectionate as you are, who loves to cuddle, and who will be by your side until the end? God's answer to that is this boy. While you may not understand this yet, God answered your pleas.

So toughen your heart, momma. There are more challenges on the way. Things will not always make sense. But, driven by your determination to raise your child in a better world, you will see that decisions are easier because you know your core. You have your north star. And the love of your child will always guide you home.

I love you, self. We are still in the middle of the race of this building the next generation goal. You are where you need to be. You got all that you prayed for. You already are the fire, stop looking for the matchstick. Te amo.